Failing at Socializing

I had a lot of depressive and kind of suicidal throughts today because of SA. I basically failed at really connecting with this girl that considers me a friend at work today and watched this other dude bodly flirt with her all day. I'm pretty certain nothing will come of it because she straight up told me she only flirts with him because of the conveniences that brings when he treats her well. So it's a bit if an act. Still, i've been trying to start a sexual relationship with her, but I just can't open up! If I could I could flirt too and probably get there pretty quick. Buuuut I'm pretty awkward at times and very anxious about the whole thing. Just wish I could get over it and do it. I'm not trying to "use" her for sex either, just getting a little sex life going, you know. It's odd, smoking weed gets me motivated for this. I think this is the feeling you get from antidepressants. They don't make you super happy, they just eliminate the anxious and depressed cloud just enough to give you that push you need to go out and take what you want out of life. I should probably look into getting on something. via /r/socialanxiety http://ift.tt/2rqYfiD